INTRO: G
SPOKEN OVER INTRO:
-Alright, here's my tribute to everyone who's ever wanted to be a country singer,
includin' me.
G Cadd9 G
Well I'll starve myself so I can be skinny, just to get a record deal
Cadd9 G D
I'll let 'em paint me up and take pretty pictures, while I try to be myself
G Cadd9 G
And nobody wants an ugly fat singer, so I gots to do my part
Cadd9 G D G
I get pumped-up, decked-out, hire myself a band, 'cause I'm gonna be a county star
N/C
CHORUS:
A C G
And then someday he's gonna fly to Vegas, sportin' him a copper tan
C A
He's gonna spend most of the money he makes tourin' with his five-piece band
G Cadd9 D
Yeah everybody says the ride is gonna end, but when it's all said and done
Cadd9 G D G
I'll be rich fat and ugly but happy if the girls still like me some
SOLO: Cadd9 G C D G
SPOKEN OVER SOLO:
-Don't sound too bad to me, Bill
-No, it's a plan
-Retirement at it's best
-That's right, got me a Lear jet, a limo and everything, but you before you can have all
that, you got to do the groundwork first
-Bill, talk to me, show me the line-up
-Getcha a pencil and paper, here we go
-I got to hear about the pieces to this puzzle
-Alright
G Cadd9 G
Well I'll hire a manager, agent and producer, and get some publicity (it's a necessary evil)
Cadd9 G D
I'm gonna pay 'em all a big fat percentage jus' to tell me what I need (ouch)
G Cadd9 G
Then when I've had it and they've run me ragged and my record's in the discount bin
G
(whatcha gonna do Bill?)
Cadd9 G D G
I'll fire 'em all (get 'em Bill!) and tour much cheaper as just another old has-been
N/C
CHORUS:
A C G
Then you can bet one day he's gonna fly to Vegas sportin' him a copper tan
G
(Like George Hamilton)
G C A
He might keep a little more of the money he makes travellin' as a one-man band
A
(I don't need no roadie)
G Cadd9 D
Yeah eh-everybody says Bill the ride's gonna end, but when it's all said and done
Cadd9 G D G
I'll be rich fat and ugly but happy if the girls still like me some
Cadd9 G D Cadd9 G
Yeah I'll be rich fat and ugly but happy if the girls still like me some
C D G