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I was watch?n TV with my buddy Stevie,
E
when I saw the strangest thing.
D
It was so compelling a woman selling
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Maxi Pads that had wings.
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I turned to channel three and what did I see,
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a woman who looked real rich.
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She was liv?in on a hill and pitch?n Vagisil
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for the special feminine itch.
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So I tried once more and I turned to channel four,
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I was shocked I must confess.
F#m D
A gal who was chunky said when she?s smell?n funky
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she just squirts it with FDS.
D E
Well it?s on every station it?s plug?n up the nation
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with feminine hygiene ads.
D E
Douches and ointments and OBG appointments
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and don?t forget your Maxi Pads.
Bm E
Cause they have wings to fly,
Bm E A
lets give it a try, for feminine hygiene.
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Well a mama and daughter walk?in by the water
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somebody don?t feel fresh.
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Monistat Seven put her back in heaven
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cause the yeast really makes a mess.
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A middle aged debutant look?n for a lubricant,
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they still can hear her voice.
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Her mama done told her when a woman gets older
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the muffin downstairs don?t stay moist.
D E
Well it?s on every station an over saturation
A D
of feminine hygiene games.
D E
Creams and lotions and all her emotions
A D
and all the water she retains.
Bm E
It?s so insane this game,
Bm E A
there?s to many names for feminine hygiene.
A Bm C#m D E
Why do we have to view,
A F#m
all that stuff girls go thru.
D E A
It?s really got my stomach reeling
.
A Bm C#m D E
Lets give those ads we see
A F#m
a hysterectomy
D E
or at least, make them more appealing.
D E
Cause there on every station an over saturation
A D
of feminine hygiene ads.
D E
Douches and ointments an OBG appointments,
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Creams and lotions and all her emotions.
D
Summers Eve and Massengill
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and if you itch use Vagisil
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Kotex, Tampax, Gynecort and Yeast-X,
D E
Norforms, Pamprin, Feminique an Replens
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Motrin and Midol for when your suicidal,
D E
Monistat, Femstat, a plug for this a pad for that
A D
The list goes on and on.
Bm E
It?s so insane to me
Bm E
it?s on my TV
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Feminine Hygiene
A A/G# F#m
Oh! Oh! Oh!
D E A
It?s on my TV it?s Feminine Hygiene
A E A