G C(add9) D(add9)
Hey honey have you gained some weight in your rear-end
G C(add9) D(add9)
The dress you wear reminds me of my old girlfriend
Em D(add9) C(add9) G
And where'd you get those shoes I think there pretty lame
Em D(add9) C(add9) G
And would you stop talking 'cause I'm trying to watch the game
(Chorus)
Em G Em G
If you're a man who wants to live a long and happy life
Em D(add9) G
These are the things you don't say to your wife.
G C(add9) D (add9)
I planned a hunting trip next week on your birthday
G C(add9) D(add9)
I didn't ask you but I knew it be ok
Em D(add9) C(add9) G
Go fix some dinner while I watch this fishing show
Em D(add9) C(add9) G
I taped it over our old wedding video
(Chorus)
G C(add9) D(add9)
Your cooking is ok but not like mother makes
G C(add9) D(add9)
The diamond in the ring I bought you is a fake
Em D(add9) C(add9) G
Your eyes look puffy dear, are you feeling ill
Em D(add9) C(add9) G
Happy anniversary I bought you a treadmill
(Chorus)
Em G Em G
If you're a man who doesn't want to get killed with a knife,
Em D(add9) G
These are the things you don't say to your wife.