Verse
E
On my way in here tonight
G#m A
I bruised my nose hugging a tree.
F#m Dmaj7
I was late ‘cause I had to stop by on my way in San Quentin
E
to set a criminal free.
G#m G#
And I ran out on seven-grain bee-pollen macrobiotic organic sustainable medical marijuana
A
for my jerky knee.
E F#m G#m
Do you know how hard it is
F#m
to be a liberal?
B
Well, do ya?
E G#m
I had to learn to speak French, Spanish, Hindi, and dolphin
A
just so I could relate.
F#m
I’m exhausted from taxing and spending,
and controlling the media, and hiding my agenda,
Dmaj7 E
and ruling San Francisco as a separatist nation-state.
G#m
And in yoga today, I got bent out of shape
G#
‘cause the guy doing bow-pulling pulls in front of me was intolerant
A
which I hate!
E F#m G#m
Do you know how hard it is
F#m
to be a liberal?
B
Well, do ya?
G
Constantly feeding the hungry
C
and bleeding my heart
and exceeding my budget
Fmaj7
and needing approval
and reading The Nation
A# D
and leading a sing-along — EVERYBODY!
(No wait, that was just an impulse. Sorry.)
D A
E
I was shootin’ hoops with some brothas
G#m
when I sprained my ba-donka-donk
A
and ya know that ain’t chill.
F#m
I saved an endangered snail-darter
from being eaten by an endangered spotted owl
F#m
which I saved from being eaten by an endangered snow-leopard
Dmaj7
which I saved from being shot by a poacher
E
who I had to kill — (with kindness. It took a while.)
G#m
And I hit a speed bump and I spilled my chi-latte all over the hemp-covered seats of my Prius
and the speed-bump
turned out to be a homeless Native American
F#m
so I apologized and gave him some land,
I stomped out his cigarette and took away his gun and shot myself in the nuts on my way to
G# A
my frivolous lawsuit for sexual harassment where I was suing myself ‘cause I masturbated — against my will!
E F#m G#m
Do you know how hard it is
F#m
to be me?
E F#m G#m
Do you know how hard it is
F#m A B
just to be a knee-jerk liberal?
F#m
What I wouldn’t give
A B E
to be a circle-jerk conservative!