verse 1
Em D Em
Fergus Laing is a beast of a man
G A Em
He stitches up and fleeces
D Em
He wants to manicure the world
G A Em
And sell it off in pieces
G
He likes to build his towers high
A
He blocks the sun out of the sky
Bm A
In the penthouse the champagne's dry
Em
And slightly gassy
verse 2
Em D Em
Fergus Laing, he works so hard
G A Em
As busy as a bee is
D Em
Fergus Laing has seventeen friends
G A Em
All as dull as he is
G
His seventeen friends have seventeen wives
A
All the perfect shape and size
Bm A
They wag their tails and bat their eyes
Em
Just like Lassie
A
Fergus Laing he builds and builds
Em
Yet small is his erection
A
Fergus Laing has a fine head of hair
Em D
When the wind's in the right direction
C B7
the wind's in the right direction
verse 3
Em D Em
Fergus Laing and his seventeen friends
G A Em
They live inside a bubble
D Em
There they withdraw and shut the door
G A Em
At any sign of trouble
G
Should the peasants wail and vent
A
And ask him where the money went
Bm A
He'll simply say, it's all been spent
Em
On being classy
verse 4
Em D Em
Fergus' buildings reach the sky
G A Em
Until you cannot see 'em
D Em
He thinks the old stuff he pulls down
G A Em
Belongs in a museum
G
His own fair home is on the Park
A
an airy jewel, a city ark
Bm A
Hung with Picasso, hung with Braque
Em
but nothing brassy
A
Fergus Laing he builds and builds
Em
Yet small is his erection
A
Fergus Laing has a fine head of hair
Em D
When the wind's in the right direction
C B7 Em
the wind's in the right direction
Alternate verse 4
G
His fits are famous on the scene
A
The shortest fuse, so cruel, so mean
Bm A
But don't call him a drama queen
Em
Like Shirley Bassey
Em D Em
Fergus Laing he flaunts the law
G A Em
But one day he'll be wired
D Em
And as they drag him off to jail
G A Em
We'll all shout, "You're fired!"