C C6
Travel they say improves the mind,
Dm7 G7 C
an irritating platitude,
Cm G7 C
which frankly, entre nous,
Dm7 G7 C
is very far from true.
C C6
Personally I've yet to find
Dm7 G7 C
that longitude and latitude
Am7 C7 F
can educate those scores
Am7 C7 F
of monumental bores
B7
who travel in groups
G7
and herds and troupes
C G7
of various breeds and sexes
D
Till the whole world reels
G7
to shouts and squeals
C7
and the clicking of Roliflexes
C Cmaj7 Dm7 Cmaj7 C G7 C
Why do the wrong people travel, travel, travel
Cmaj7 Cm Fm
When the right people stay back home?
C Cdim G7
What compulsion compels them
G7 G7/9-
and who the hell tells them
C7 Am7 C7
To drag their bags to Zanzibar
Am7 C7 Dm7 Fm6 G7
instead of staying quietly in O - ma ha?
C9
The Taj Mahal
Fsus9
and the Grand Canal
C9 F
and the sunny French Riviera
C9
would be less oppressed
Am7
If the Middle West
C7
would settle for somewhere
G7
rather nearer
C Cmaj7 Cm Cdim
Please do not think that
C G7 C
I criticize or cavil
C7+ F
at a genuine urge to roam
Dm7 Fm C G7
but why oh why do the wrong people travel
C7 Dm7 G7 C
when the right people stay back home
C7 G7
and mind their bus'ness
C7 Dm7 G7 C
when the right people stay back home
C7 G7
with television
C7 Dm7 G7 C
when the right people stay back home
C7 G7 C7
I'm merely asking why the right people stay back home?
C C6
Just when you think romance is ripe
Dm7 G7 C
it rather sharply dawns on you
Cm G7 C
that each sweet serenade
Dm7 G7 C
is for the tourist trade
C C6
Any attractive native type
Dm7 G7 C
who resolutely fawns on you
Am7 C7 F
will give as his address
Am7 C7 F
American Express
B7
There isn't a rock
G7
between Bangkok
C G7
and the beaches of Hispianola
D
That does not recoil from
G7 C7(6) G7
suntan oil and the gurgle of Coca-Cola
---Refrain---
C Cmaj7 Dm7 Cdim C G7 C
Why do the wrong people travel, travel, travel
Cmaj7 Cm Fm
When the right people stay back home?
C Cdim G7
What explains this mass mania
G7 G7/9-
to leave Pennsylvania
C7 Am7 C7
and clack around like flocks of geese
Am7 C7
demanding dry martinis?
Dm7 Fm6 G7
On the isles of Greece?
C9
In the smallest street
Fsus9
where the gourmets meet,
C9 F
they invariably fetch up
C9 Am7
and it's hard to make them accept a steak
C7
that isn't served rare
G7
and smeared with ketchup
C Cmaj7 Cm Cdim C G7 C
It would take years to unravel, ravel ravel
every impulse that makes them roam
Dm7 Fm C G7
but why oh why do the wrong people travel
C7 Dm7 G7 C
when the right people stay back home
C7 G7
and eat hot doughnuts,
C7 Dm7 G7 C
when the right people stay back home
C7 G7
with all that lettuce
C7 Dm7 G7 C
when the right people stay back home
C7 G7 C7
I sometimes wonder why the right people stay back home
---Refrain---
C Cmaj7 Dm7 Cdim C G7 C
Why do the wrong people travel, travel, travel
Cmaj7 Cm Fm
When the right people stay back home?
C Cdim G7
What peculiar obsessions
G7 G7/9-
inspire those processions
C7 Am7 C7
of families from Houston, Tex.,
Am7 C7
with all those cameras
Dm7 Fm6 G7
around their necks?