Intro: C G C G verse 1 C F It's the time of year now that spring is in the air G C When those two wet gits with their girly curly hair F Make another song for maronic holidays G C That nausiate ate ates in a million different ways F From the shores of Spain to the coast of southern France D G No matter where you hide you just can't escape this dance verse 1 G C G Hold a chicken in the air stick a deck-chair up your nose C Buy a jumbo jet and then bury all your clothes F Paint your left knee green then extract your wisdom teeth C G C Form a string quartet and pretend your name is Keith Up 1/2 tone verse 2 A D A Skin yourself alive learn to speak Arapaho D Climb inside a dog and behead an eskimo G Eat a Renault 4 wear salami in your ears D A D A Casserole your gran disembowel yourself with spears Bridge D G The disco is migrating the sound is loud and grating E A It's truly nauseating let's do the dance again Up 1/2 tone verse 3 B E B Hold a chicken in the air stick a deck-chair up your nose E Yes you'll hear this song in the holiday discos A And there's no escape in the clubs or in the bars E B E You would hear this song if you holidayed in Mars Up 1 tone verse 4 C# F# C# Skin yourself alive learn to speak arapaho F# Climb inside a dog and behead an eskimo B Now you've heard it once your brain will spring a leak F# C# F# And though you hate this song you'll be humming it for weeks Outro up 1/2 tone to fade D G D Hold a chicken in the air stick a deck-chair up you nose G Buy a jumbo jet and then bury all your clothes C La la la la la la la la la la G D G La la la la la la la la la la la la