INTRO: Am C F G C
C
Me and my buddy got us a wild hair
F
And figured we wanted to go somewhere
G C
So we loaded up in my ragtop Chevrolet
C
We had a little bit of money and a whole lot of show
F
What with Hank Jr. blarin' on the radio
G C
We got a tank full of gas and we was on our way
We figured we'd go down to New Orleans
We were barrelin' down old sevetneen
When a man with a blinkin' red light was on our tail
He saidd you were doin' 60 in a 45
But I'm gonna let you go this time
But if I catch you again I'm gonna slap you in the county jail
We said thank you sir you've sure been nice
And you ain't gonna have to tell us twice
And we were southbound and down with the wind blowin' in our faces
We kept on rollin' and pretty soon
The radio was cooking out a Haggard tune
And we were pullin' into and Houston checking out all them places
I was feeling dry and I said I think
We ought to stop and get ourselves a drink
And old Jim said yeah 'cause we've got time to kill
We kept on rollin' and I seen this spot
And we pulled into the parking lot
Of this place called the Cloud Nine Bar and Grill
We walked thru the door and the place was jammed
The lights were low and they had a punk rock band
And some orange haired feller singing about suicide
I said Jim this ain't our kind of place
He said well let's just have one round anyway
So against my better judgement we walked on inside
Went up to the bar and we sat down
This feller walked up and said I'll buy this round
And he sat down on the barstool next to Jim
He looked like a girl but he talked like a guy
He had lipstick on and mascara in his eyes
And everybody in that place looked just about like him
I said Jim this ain't our kind of bar
Let's just go on out and get back in the car
'Cause there's gonna be trouble ain't no sense in takin' a chance
We was gettin' up gettin' ready to leave
When somebody grabbed old Jim by the sleeve
It was this good looking girl she was asking my buddy to dance
I said Jim don't do it there's something missin'
There's fellers dancin' and fellers kissin'
There's a feller in high heel shoes wearin' panty hose
He said partner I just can't turn this down
You just go over there and have one more round
And I'll dance with the lady and we'll get on down the road
So he walked away and left me alone
And this funny lookin' feller kept comin' on
And he was makin' me mad with some of the things he said
And then he put his hand on my knee
I said if you don't get your paw off me
I'm gonna locate your nose around on the side of your head
He said I love it when you get that fire in your eye
I said well partner try this on for size
I unloaded on him and he went out like a light
Everybody in that place must have been his friend
They all headed for me I said this is the end
But where I come from we don't give up without a fight
They were screamin' and yellin' and scratchin' and clawin'
I was punchin' and hittin' and kickin' and pawin'
I was holdin' my own 'cause I've been in a scrap or two
Old Jim come runnin' up outta the blue
And that gal he was with come runnin' up too
And proceeded to beat on me with a high heel shoe
C
I grabbed her by the hair and it come off in my hand
F
And that beautiful girl was just a beautiful man
G C
And old Jim just got sick right there on the floor
C
He dropped that dude like a shot from a gun
F
Smeared his lipstick made his makeup run
G/ C G
And me and old Jim started fightin' our way to the door
(KEY CHANGE TO D)
D
We lit out of there in that Chevrolet
G
And I put her on the floor and it stayed that way
A D
We was going down the highway doin' about a hundred and ten
D
We was headed for home and we was gettin' nearer
G
Then a red light come up in the rearview mirror
A D A
And that same blame cop was pulling us over again
(KEY CHANGE TO E)
E
Now I'm sittin' here in this county jail
A
I had to call my daddy to go our bail
B E
But I learned me a lesson that I never will forget again
E
I've done give up drinkin' I've give up bars
A
And runnin' around the country in souped up cars
B/ B/ A B E/
I'm goin' back where the women are women and the men are men