Note 1: This song is a parody of 'Almost Persuaded' which was done by David
Houston, and others.
Note 2: Ben Colder was really Shep Wooley (who did 'Purple People Eater' in
the late 50s).
(G) Last night I stumbled (G7) in to a (C) bar room, hic!
I met a (G) girl with a pint in her (D) purse (D7)
She was (G) cute as (G7) two speckled (C) puppies
And I said, (G) "Ben, (D) you could do (G) worse."
Then I walked across the (G7) room full of (C) tables (I walked across
her table too)
And I (G) plopped myself down in a (D) chair (I said, "Hi (D7) there.")
She (G) whispered, (G7) "My name is (C) Mable."
And (G) all I could (D) say was, "Hi (G) there."
I said, "Permit me to introduce myself, Ben Colder here."
She said, "It ain't been no colder here than anyplace else."
I had her al-(G7)-most per-(C)-suaded
("What happened to the Diddle diddle do there?" (piano plays) "Thank you.")
To (G) slip, strip herself of her (D) pride (D7)
(G) Al-(G7)-most per-(C)-suaded, to (G) slip me a (D) drink
on the (G) side (E)
Well then we (A) danced and we (A7) danced and we (D) danced
and we danced
That is I (A) thought I was dancin' till somebody stepped on my (E) hand (E7)
Then I (A) looked in her (A7) eyes and I (D) saw it
The re-(A)-flection of (E) my wedding (A) band
(And I thought, "That sure is strange. I ain't even married." What it was is
my wristwatch.)
I had her al-(A7)-most per-(D)-suaded
((piano plays) "Once more there, Hargis." (piano plays))
To (A) come and be my (E) own (E7)
((piano plays comical notes) "Smart alec.")
((A) Al-(A7)-most per-(D)-suaded) ("Boy.")
Then her (A) boyfriend came and (E) made me go (D) home (A)