Am F C G
The books you think I wrote are way too thick
Am F C G
Who needs a thousand metaphors to figure out you shouldn't be a dick
Am F C G
And I don't watch you when you sleep
Am F C Em F
Surprisingly I don't use my own omnipotence to be a fucking creep
Am G F
You're not going to heaven
Am G F
Why the fuck did you think I'd ever kick it with you
Am G
None of you are going to heaven
F Am G F
There's a trillion aliens cooler than you
F
Am G Am G F
You shouldn't abstain from rape just because you think that I want you to
F
Am G C
You shouldn't rape because rape is a fucked up thing to do
Am F C G
I don't think masturbation is obscene
Am F C G Am
It's absolutely natural and the weirdest fucking thing I've ever seen
F C G
You make my job a living hell
Am F C
I sent gays to fix overpopulation
G F
Didn't that go well
Am G F
You're not going to heaven
Am G F
Eat a thousand crackers sing a million hymns
Am G F
None of you are going to heaven
Am G F
You're not my children you're a bad game of sims
Am G Am G F
You shouldn't abstain from pork because you think that I want you to
Am G C
You can eat pork because why the fuck would I give a shit
Am F C G
You argue and you bicker and you fight
Am F C G Am
Atheists and Catholics, Jews and Hindus argue day and night
F C G
Over what they think is true
Am F C G F
But no one entertains the thought that maybe god does not believe in you
Am G F
You pray so badly for heaven
Am G F
knowing any day may be the day that you die
Am G F
But maybe life on earth could be heaven
Am G F
Doesn't just the thought of it make it worth a try
F C F G
My love's the type of thing that you have to earn
C F C G
And when you earn it you won't need it
Am G Am G F
I'm not gonna give love just cause I know that you want me to
Am G C
If you want love then the love is gonna come from you