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I read the news today, oh boy, about a lucky man who made the grade
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And thought the news were rather sad, well I just had to laugh
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I saw the photograph
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He blew his mind out in a car, he didn't notice that the lights had changed
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A crowd of people stood and stared, they'd seen his face before
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Nobody was really sure if he was from the House of Lords
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I saw a film today, oh boy, the england army had just won the war
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A crowd of people turned away, but I just had to look
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Having read the book
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I'd love to turn .... you .... on ....
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Wake up, fell out of bed, dragged a combed across my head
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Found my way downstairs and dranked a cup, and looking up I noticed I was late
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Grabbed my coat, and grabbed my hat, made the bus in seconds flat
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Found my way upstairs and had a smoke, and somebody spoke and I went into a dream
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Ahhhhh... Ahhhhh...
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I read the news today, oh boy, four thousand holes in Blackburn Lacanshire
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And though the holes were rather small, they had to count them all
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Now they know how many holes it takes to fill the Albert Hall
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I'd love to turn .... you .... on ....